Mirror Mirror.

There is this common spiritual idea that says:

What triggers you in another exists in you.

There is truth in this.

But it can also be easily misunderstood.

Because not every trigger is showing us that we are the same as the other person.

Sometimes it is simply showing us where we have been hurt.

For example, when someone is rude, cold or dismissive, you may find yourself deeply affected while someone else barely notices.

The mind immediately wants answers.

“Why does this bother me so much?”

“What does this say about me?”

“Is this my ego?”

“What’s wrong with me?”

And before we know it, shame appears.

But being deeply affected does not automatically mean you share the same trait.

If someone speaks sharply and you feel an overwhelming reaction, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are secretly sharp yourself.

More often, it is because your nervous system has learned that tone is not always safe.

When presence was missing in our early years, the body adapted.

It became alert.

Careful.

Sensitive to subtle shifts.

Not weak.

Simply trying to stay safe.

So later in life, familiar behaviours can awaken familiar feelings.

The body isn’t only responding to what is happening now.

It is responding to what this moment reminds it of.

This is why two people can experience the very same situation and respond completely differently.

One simply lets it pass.

Another feels anxiety, sadness or an overwhelming heaviness.

The difference isn’t strength.

It is history.

Of course, sometimes our reactions do reveal something about ourselves.

But often the trigger isn’t the trait.

It is the emotional impact that trait once had on us.

Being affected by harshness does not mean you are harsh.

Being disturbed by gossip does not mean you are judgemental.

Being hurt by dismissiveness does not mean there is something wrong with your sensitivity.

It may simply be showing you where the body is still seeking safety.

Seen this way, triggers stop being accusations.

They become invitations.

They gently reveal where love, understanding and presence have not yet fully reached.

So instead of asking,

“What’s wrong with me?”

We can begin asking,

“What is this reaction trying to protect?”

The aim isn’t to become someone who never reacts.

It isn’t to suppress emotion in the name of spirituality.

It is simply to understand.

Strong reactions are not failures.

They are signals.

And more importantly…

They are invitations.

Invitations to bring loving awareness to what has been waiting to be felt.

The beautiful thing is that we don’t need to endlessly analyse the past.

We don’t need to understand every detail of who did what, when or why.

Awareness of the emotion itself is enough.

When an emotion is fully welcomed instead of resisted, it no longer needs to keep repeating itself.

And perhaps this is the greatest gift our triggers offer.

They point us back to the very place where love has been missing.

My role is simply to walk beside you.

To hold your hand, metaphorically, when it feels too difficult to face alone.

And to remind you of something the mind so easily forgets.

There never was.

There never is.

And there never will be.

Anything wrong with You.

~

As I finish writing this an incredibly beautiful song comes to awareness ~ Mirrors, Justin Timberlake 🙏🏻

~

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