NARCY OR NATURAL? Understanding Narcissism Through Self-Realisation.

We hear the word narcissist so often these days, especially when trying to describe those who appear extremely self-absorbed and cause harm with little to no empathy.

This can lead us to ask:

How is narcissism formed ~ and can it be healed?

Let’s unpack this.

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The Birth of Ego Identity.

At birth, we’re given a name. Over time, we are shown or told by others ~ parents, teachers, society ~ who they believe we are. From this, an identity begins to form.

For example, we may be told ~ or subtly shown ~ that we’re not good enough. This messaging can come through words, neglect, trauma, or emotional abandonment.

The mistaken beliefs placed upon us gradually build up and create a character, a constructed self-image we come to accept as truth. Of course, the intensity of this conditioning varies from person to person.

Yet, it doesn’t matter who you are ~ the same mechanism plays out.

A fixation on the self is formed. This self we refer to as the ego identity.

Unless we come to clearly see who we are before this conditioning, we remain lost in the story of self. The label “narcissism” simply points to an extreme version of this ~

An extreme form of being lost in the story of ‘me’.

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Where Did This ‘Me’ Come From?

Yes, we have a name. We have a body. We have a mind filled with thoughts and beliefs about ourselves.

But where did these come from?

Are they truly ours?

The short answer is: No.

It all came from others. You see?

What we may not realise is that not only are we living from this conditioned story ~ but we have mistaken it for who we truly are.

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Seeing Through the Illusion.

Who we truly are has become veiled by belief.

So who are we, really?

We are the awareness that is conscious of this ego/character identity.

The awareness that sees the mind, the thoughts, the emotions ~ but is not entangled in them.

This is the beginning of true healing ~ not by “fixing” the character, but by seeing through it.

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What Happens When We See Clearly?

As we begin to rest as awareness, the fixation on character, appearance, personality, the injustices of life, the annoyances of others, emotions, and thoughts begins to dissolve.

We start to see:

These were never ours.

And in this seeing, our actions and reactions soften. Our emotional reactivity lessens. We become more spacious ~ more natural.

We see through the unnaturalness of identity and return to an all-natural Self-Love.

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🧘‍♀️ So, Can Narcissism Be Healed?

Rather than being “healed” in the traditional sense, narcissistic traits dissolve when they are fully seen for what they are ~ a by-product of deep conditioning and mistaken identity.

This dissolving can occur through:

• Awareness-based meditation

• Conscious dialogue with someone who has already seen through the illusion.

Through this, we begin to remember the truth of who we really are.

This is Self-Realisation.

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When We Return to Truth…

In the absence of a fixed, false identity, peace and love are free to shine through.

And from this space, we experience more harmonious relationships ~ within and around us.

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A Word on Boundaries and Love.

It’s important to note that this process cannot be forced ~ not on ourselves, and not on others. It takes deep trust in the truth of being, over the pull of ego identity.

As you begin to see through the illusion, others may still be lost in their story of self. It’s not unloving to maintain healthy boundaries. In fact, it may be essential.

But boundaries can now arise not from fear or defensiveness, but from clarity and love.

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Final Reflection.

Narcissism, at its root, is not evil ~ it is unconsciousness. A deep forgetting of who we are.

And through awareness, remembering is possible.

Not through fixing the character…

…but through seeing that we were never it to begin with.

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